This is Amy's blog and I am going to post things about my life and I don't care what other people think.
I really wanted this blog in order to have separate place to blog other then facebook because people seem to have werid reactions on there.
My life is complicated but isn't everyone's.
I'm pregnant and it's a girl probably naming it Bethany. I've been with the guy almost 8 years. I work a lot but i have to to pay the bills. I've been going to school since i graduated in 05 but most of it has been part time but I hope i can still go after the baby is born.

hospital and the birth of my baby

Saturday the 7th i was having pains all day but i kept thinking it was round ligment pain because that’s what they told me it was when i went to the hospital the previous Saturday. Then around 1:30 am or so i was leaking and i thought it was just regular pregnancy discharge so i just kept wiping it. I was also going to the bathroom a lot more and one of the times i stood up to go the liquid that was leaking was running down my leg. This whole time which was about an hour i was also having chills and joel said it was hot. So after the major leaking down my leg i took my temperature and it was over 100.2. With everything combined i knew i had to go to hospital. So me and joel went to Inland valley. They got me in right away which they normally do if your pregnant. They took some tests one of the tests was a swab where if it turns purple it means that your water broke. It turned purple but she wanted to wait for another test to come back because that one isn’t the most accurate. The other test is where the culture they took from me if it ferns then it means that your water broke. It also said that my water broke.

They ended up starting me on medicine right away. In the mean time while were waiting they give me a shot to mature the babys lungs. Then they determined that with my condition i might have the baby i would have to be moved to a hospital that could take better care of a premature baby. They told us san diego or riverside, we were like Riverside because san deigo is really far away. Then they find out that I have to go my helicopter because there is no nurse available for the ambulance and with the medicine they gave me i have to have a nurse with me. Joel couldn’t go on the helicopter but since i was scared i told him he had to met me there even though it was 5 or 6 in the morning and we hadn’t slept all night. The two guys from the helicopter were really nice and the ride was only 6 minutes one of them told me when we got there. When we got out of the helicopter I tried to say thank you to the two guys from the helicopter but I was really out of it from the medicine but i was still trying to be nice. I went to Riverside County Regional Medical Center and they took me to labor and delivery.  Then they got me to the room really fast when i got there it was about 6:30 and i had about 5-6 nurses asking me the same information but they didn’t want to start any tests or treatment untill 7 because they were almost off work. They were all pretty nice though.

Then about an hour or so later they did similar tests that they did at Inland valley. In addition they did an exam (same as Inland Valley) they said i was closed, thick and high which meant i was not in labor but the tests all indicted that i was leaking fluid. They all told me that I was going to be in the hospital a long time. This scared me because it was really uncomfortable but I really didn’t want the baby to come out yet. Even though it was so uncomfortable I was hoping she would stay inside me at least a month even though that is also still early. Even else parents, nurses, doctors thought i would be in the hospital a few months.

The reason why it was so uncomfortable is because they had me hooked up to two monitors with belts around my back. One is to monitor the babys heart rate and the other was to monitor if i’m having contractions. Then they also had a monitor on my finger to check my heart rate and they had a blood pressure cuff on me that went off every half hour. The monitor for the babies heart rate was the most uncomfortable because every time I moved they lost the babies heart rate and the first few days they would come in and move it all the time. I moved positions a lot because my back was hurting the whole time. When I had the monitors on, my lower back was hurting so bad. Besides the monitor i had to lay with the bed transverse which means head side down and the leg side up. This was a precaution to try and help the fluid from coming out. That was the most annoying thing about being in the hospital because it was hard to do anything: eat, watch tv, wash myself, brush my hair.

I finally got a hold of joels mom that day and even though she was working all night she said she would come by. I asked if she would come and replace Joel so he could go home. I had his Dad drive him home since he hadn’t slept in over 24 hours and his mom stayed most of the day to keep me company. Even though Joel was tired it was better for me that he stayed with me because I was scared. It was really nice that his mom stayed with me she didn’t even leave untill like 7pm.

Later in the day they did another ultrasound but it was to look at how big she was they use grams to measure how big they are when they are so small. They told me that some weights are too small because there equipment is too big. I think the smallest they told me was 445 and I don’t remember what she was but her weight was bigger then that. Then the doctor from the nicu came around 6pm and Donna (joels mom) was still there. I’m glad Donna was still there because I didn’t want to be alone but I really wish Joel had been there. The doctor told me all the horrible things that could be wrong with the baby if I had her that day since she was 24 weeks along at that point. I was really upset because of all the horrible things the doctor told me and Donna was really crying. I called Joel right after crying and he felt bad that he wasn’t there.

I barely got to sleep that night I slept like 2 hours altogether like a half hour here and half hour there. My back hurt the whole night and i kept trying to roll over but it didn’t matter what side i was on it still hurt. I tried to stay mostly on my right side because i felt the most relief on that side.

Joel came back the next day but I thought he was going to come early but he came a little later. He brought me a bunch of stuff I needed but he also forgot a bunch of stuff so his mom came and brought more stuff. I tried to watch tv from my bed joel positioned the tv so I could watch it from the mirror. I was watching 90210 since it was Monday. We tried to fill out the disability papers that night as well, his mom helped me fill it out since it was hard to write in the bed. Joel took the papers down there the next day but we found out that I needed a social worker since i was staying in the hospital.

That night (monday) Joel stayed the night and comforted me whenever I needed him to, such as rubbing my back or giving me a hug. Although another uncomfortable thing happened that night, the baby’s heart rate dropped really low so I had to wear oxygen mask on for a while, I kept coughing all the time it was really annoying.  Joel also helped me eat dinner and breakfast. Although the chair he slept in was very uncomfortable. I was sad when he left though.That day (Tuesday) My mother came with my sister (Sarah) and my mom brought me things I could do to avoid boredom and the back pain. She got me these items with the intention because I thought I was going to be in the hospital weeks or even months. My mom and I played card games that she brought me. She brought me crazy 8s, regular cards, crayons,  and two crossword puzzles. My mom helped brush my hair and eat lunch while she was there. I tried to talk to my sister and get her to come see me but she stayed on the other side of the room. She apologized later but at the time I was sad. They stayed 3 or 4 hours and I had wished they had stayed longer.

They did another ultrasound that evening (Tuesday) to check the fluid and they said it was good. Soon after the ultrasound they came in and said they were going to move me. The reason why they were going to move me was because my fluid was good.

I got moved around 8 and around 7:30 I tried to turn on the tv but my controls weren’t working again. when i went to the other room it was about 8:30 the controls were working and I watched the last half of one tree hill and watched Hell cats. I didn’t have to have the monitors on me the whole night around 11pm or so she put the controls on for 30 minutes. I slept better without the controls.

The next day when the doctors did rounds like 5 doctors came around to check up on me. I thought that was good because in labor in deliver I never really saw the doctors. Although in the postpartum area the nurses took along time to come when I called them. The 2 times that really made me mad was when i was on the bed pan or when I was waiting for medicine. There were a few times when I waited over 30 minutes for the nurse.

That was the day that my friends came to visit me. Tawny and TJ from work came around 11 am. I thought that was so sweet and thoughtful that they would come. Mostly we just talked. I told them the story of what happened and Tawny told me what happened when she had her baby a few weeks ago and then I asked TJ how work was going and she said there’s no schedule still, partly because of me since I wasn’t there she had a hard time making the schedule. They stayed for about an hour and then my other friend came. Right after they left Amanda and her mom came to visit me and they also stayed for about an hour. Me and Amanda played card games that my mom brought me, crazy 8s but it was farm animals, it was fun. Then we all talked about babies. Her mother told me stories about giving birth to her children and having a preemie baby and going back to the hospital for more procedures and such. It was really nice to have them there. Joel didn’t come that day but I watched tv the rest of the day after my visitors left. I was really tired when they left anyways I think i took a nap for like an hour. That’s all I remember about Wednesday I mostly just watched TV the rest of the day.

Thursday I just kept thinking that Joel was coming all day. I kept calling him all day asking him where he was and whats going on. He tried to go to the library to get a book for me and found out they have it Temecula but since He didn’t have any money to drive there he waited till 3pm till his unemployment check came. Then he drove all the way to Temecula to get my book and then When he started to drive on the 215 there was so much traffic. He didn’t get to the hospital till like 6:30 or 7. I was so happy when he got there though.

The next day on Friday Joel helped me most of the day almost like he was my nurse. Even though I thought he didn’t want to help with those kind of things like with my bed pan or giving me a bath, I was amazed that he was helping me but it made me feel so happy that I can count on him to be there for me like that while i was in the hospital especially since Hes going to need to do those kind of things when the baby comes.

On medical note Thursday and Friday they asked if I thought I was leaking and I thought I was. Friday I woke up soaking wet and the nurse wasn’t sure if was leaking or just sweating.

That day Billy came to visit me and the 3 of us mostly just talked.

While he was there though they came to do an ultrasound to check on the fluid. A few minutes later the doctor came in and said they were going to move me back to labor and delivery because my fluid was too low. I was kind of shocked because the ultrasound person made me think that my fluid was ok but the number she told me was really low but maybe she was trying not to scare me since she’s not the doctor.

Joel and billy helped move my things and I was scared again since Joel was about to leave and go to the movies. Joel went and asked the doctor when i was moved if I was going to have the baby soon or if it was ok for him to leave. The doctor really didn’t want to give answer but he said that it should be a couple days or so. So Joel left and I thought he was going to call me when he got home but I ended up calling his house to see if he made it home ok. I didn’t sleep much that night though, not because Joel wasn’t there, but because since I was back in labor and delivery I had the monitors back on me. Thankfully my controls for the TV worked in that room and that room had adult swim (cartoon network) so I kept that on all night. I slept off and on and whenever I woke up I just watched adult swim since my back on left side was hurting so bad. I actually had like a pinched nerve or something for like 3 days right in one spot. Although I didn’t like my dinner so I requested a sandwich box, I actually had those for a few meals while I was there since they were easier to eat while transverse. I had actually requested finger food diet when they came and asked me what I like or any preferences I had about food  but that only last like 5 meals or so starting Tuesday night.

In the morning (Saturday may 14th) I woke up early and i normally wake up at 6 because that’s when the nurses come in to do work since they switch at 7. Then more nurses (in postpartum doctors too) come in at 7 and do my work such as ask questions about how your doing, check the monitors, temperature, blood pressure, and help me with the bed pan. I also told the nurse that I was having pain in the belly but I had been having different pains through out the week and each nurse told me it could be something different and that yesterday (Friday) nurse said it might be my uterus on my bladder and to go to the bathroom every 2 hours. So I tried to go to the bathroom. The nurse said she wanted an update if my pain got worse. So after a while I called her back (there are buttons in every room to call the nurse) and told her that it felt worse. So she had the doctor come in and give me an exam. He checked my cervix and first he told me that I was closed. To me I thought that meant I would not have the baby yet. Then he told me I was thin and very low and not sure what it means but he said 90% effaced. The nurse tried to show me with a bottle one side is really long (how it should be) and then the other side is flat and smooth (how I was at the time). Then he told me I would need to have the baby right away. My first reaction is there any way I could not have the baby today and then I went on to ask him if there were any other options. The doctor and the nurse tried to convince me that having the baby was safest for the baby. The reason the nurse gave is because since i’m so thin now the baby could just pop it’s foot out and that would dangerous for the baby’s survival. Then I told him I don’t know I have to call my boyfriend. So around 8:30 on Saturday the 14th I call Joel and after 2 calls he doesn’t answer so I call his house and his mom answers I don’t tell her anything all I say is I need Joel emergency. By saying that she knew what I meant since everyone knew I was in the hospital. When I talked to Joel he said tell them that you will have the baby and I am getting ready and i’ll be there soon. I kept giving the doctors and nurses updates on how long Joel was taking so I guess they knew I was saying yes but waiting for the father. The nurses preped me anyways just in case. The doctors came and told me how it was going to go and I asked them questions. I had also called my mom and told her i might have the baby and what decision should I make. She called the hospital demanding to know what’s going on. I was already upset and crying because I didn’t want to have my baby this early I wish we could have waited another week or two. My mom started to stress me out but she appoligized and I ended up telling the doctor it was ok to talk to her. Then after she talked to the doctor she said you have to have this baby now. Then around 9:30 Joel came running down the hallway. I just heard someone in the hallway say I think that’s him running, I thought it was funny and embarrassing that he was running in the hallway. It felt like he took forever to get there but it was actually really fast. Joel had to wait while they got me ready. He had to put on  cowns and stuff on and I had asked him to gather my stuff and pack it.

The nurse, Rea, went in the surgery room with me and I was glad she was there since Joel couldn’t be in there because I was really scared to get needles inside me. She held my hand and the Anastasia doctor showed me how to shape my back for the needles. First he puts one in to numb the area and then he puts the real one in and that one numbs the whole lower half of the body. I couldn’t move my legs or my feet. Then they lay me on the table the way they want me, place blankets over my legs, and make a tarp all the sterile things were on there side and me and Joel would be on the other side. Then Joel came in right before they did the surgery. Joel held my hand the whole time. The anesthesiologist told me what was going on and adjusted me medicine, I was glad he told me what was going on because the doctors didn’t say anything even after everything was done. Then when Bethany came out we saw her on the table near us we could see her feet and hands. Me and Joel cried when we saw her for the first time. Then after I saw her I tried to focus on me because they were still stitching me up. When they were almost done stitching me up Joel felt sick and had to leave, he says it’s because he had coffee. Then they took me to recovery she said I would be there about an hour. Joel came soon after to the recovery room but first he took all the grandparents to see the baby. (his parents and my parents) When Joel came he was again helping me like the best boyfriend. I threw up in recovery even though she gave me medicine for nausea. I was hoping I wouldn’t throw up because the more I throw up the longer it would be till I would eat. Joel had all my stuff that need to go to the room and they were going to move me soon. First I went to go see my baby it was hard to see her but I still glad we went. Then I went to my room and Joel and our parents were in there and talked to me for awhile. Then Joels parents left and my parents went to get food and they bought me a present, it was a pink blanket that says baby. Then my sister showed up with a friend and Joel took her to see the baby. Then my parents came back and I looked at there present and Sarahs present. In the evening I threw up more (3 times) so i didn’t really eat. First i tried to eat Jello and I threw that up twice. Then later i tried again pudding and i kept that down, that’s all I ate that night.

Joel stayed with the baby most of the night, at the time I had wished he had been with me or that he should have got some sleep but a couple days later I was glad he stayed with Bethany because I couldn’t walked yet and one of us should have been with her.

I found out later that the first few days would probably determine if she was going to make it or not and that’s why Joel stayed with her. I’m guesses one of the doctors told him that. (He told me when she was about a week old)

On Sunday My friends planned to come visit me and the baby. First A bunch of friends from work came there was Roberta, Audrey, and Cindy. I was trying to walk that morning and they met me in the Hallway. I was pushing a wheel chair just have something to hold on to and in case I couldn’t walk the rest of the way. When we got there Me and Joel went in first to see our baby, i hadn’t seen her that well yet because I couldn’t see her in the gurney that well when they pushed me over there after the recovery room.  Then Joel went out and let my friends in one by one. First Roberta came in and she’s so sweet she always knows how to comfort me. Audrey was shocked at how small she was. Then Cindy came after she gave me a few minutes alone because I think she realized I hadn’t been alone with her yet which was nice. All them commented on how long her fingers were. That was a common comment that week.

Then they call came to my room and we talked about the baby and the week I had at the hospital. It was so nice that they came and I thought it was so thoughtful. I couldn’t ask for better people in my life that a lot of people i know (not just them) would come and visit me and the baby at the hospital.

Then after they left Tawny came and she had came to see me once already so that was really nice of her to come again. I went to take her to see the baby as well. When we came back to my room she gave me advice which was really nice.

Then a little later Joels friends came; chad, His mom, his brother Adam, Adam’s wife heather and there son. I was too exhausted to go with them to see the baby so I had Joel take them. When they came to see me at my room afterwords I didn’t know what to say since I was exhausted. But they ended up taking Joel home which me and Joel both appreciated since he didn’t sleep that night he was tired.

That night I went to see the baby by myself because the nurse said I had to walk one more time even though I walked a lot that day and I had to take milk to the nicu anyways. Once I got there I ended up staying a long time and I even helped change her diaper and take her temperature. I was sad when I left but I had to get some sleep.

The next morning I went to see her early since I had pumped milk and I had to take it to the nicu and I got a really good picture of her with out the cap on her head. I stayed for only 30 minutes or so. Then I went and ate breakfast that I actually left till later in order to go to the nicu.

 So after breakfast Amanda and her mom came and I took them to see the baby as well. When we got back I had lunch waiting. So they only stayed a little bit because I had to eat and then pump again.

I also kept thinking Joel was coming soon but he had to find a ride and since Billy was going to come to the hospital anyways he drove Joel. Which I appreciated because I really wanted joel back at the hospital. Joel took Billy to see the baby. Then billy brought me a present that he had left in his car and it was a frame (we are actually using the frame already, that was a really good present, I love it) It was really thoughtful to bring me a present. Then he left soon after so I could pump again.

All day I kept thinking my mom was coming soon. Later and later it got, She was at my sisters and I thought Sarah was giving her a ride. Then she told me i’m 40 minutes away and I actually was trying to plan pumping around all my visitors. So I told her plenty of time for me to pump before you get here. Then I get a surprise, Joel’s parents came. I really wish they would have called because I wasn’t dressed when they opened the door, while I was pumping. They went out soon after though and Joel took them to see the baby. They brought me a Flower with a balloon. Then my mom got there and Arafat came too. I was heading to the nicu when they came to take the milk down there. So I was in the Nicu with Joel with all the grandparents outside and he let my mom in and we looked at her together. Then we all went to my room and talked for about an hour or so, since you can’t have any visitors after 8.

Then they all left. It was actually nice to just be with Joel. In that second postpartum room after I had the baby and when I could actually walk, I actually had a good time with Joel. I knew I was going the next day When we left I was actually sad to leave. Before we left the hospital we went to see Bethany one more time and we stayed there about an hour or two.

Right now When I finally finished with this blog entry, she is two weeks old and 2 days. She is 2 pounds 3 ounces. I miss and love her so much and wish she was with us. I am also in the process of planning her baby shower. I think it will be so much fun.

Bethany I can’t wait till you come home Daddy and Mommy love you so much. We try to come visit you when we can. We thinking about you all the time. Be strong for us.